Life after work, whether this is because you are about to retire or maybe you have worked hard to create a passive income, will bring you that freedom that you have always dreamed of.
But be warned – it may be a bumpy road...
It is estimated that the average person retiring at the average age will spend one third of their life in retirement. That is the best part of 30 years. And if you are planning on retiring earlier, then that is going to be even longer. This is going to be a huge part of your life and as a result you need to know what it is really going to be like, what you are setting yourself up for.
There is too much focus on the financial, and not enough on the psycological. Many who retire find that the novelty of their new found freedom and relaxation soon wears off, and they find that whilst they may keep themselves busy enough they feel that they are not achieving anything useful or important.
And soon they find themselves feeling less happy than when they were in the office doing a job that they hated!
I saw a recent TED talk by Dr Riley Moynes that really helped make sense of it all. It’s a great, entertaining talk and only about 15 minutes long. You can see it below.
It explains that we go through four key phases:
1. Vacation
2. Loss and Lost
3. Trial and Error
4. Reinvent and Rewire
- Vacation!!
This is the fun bit, that we all long for. No more routine, get up when you want, no boss, freedom to do what you want when you want, relaxing. The perfect life.But after a while, the novelty starts to go, it all loses it’s fun.We miss the routine, because something in us wants or needs that.We start to ask “Is this it? Is this what it’s going to be like for the next 30 years?”When this happens, we are moving into the next phase… - Loss and Lost
There are five key things that we lose, and what’s worse is they all come along at the same time:
– Loss of routine
– Loss of identity
– Loss of relationships (that you built up during your worklife)
– Loss of purpose
– Loss of power
Because they all come along at the same time, many of us just don’t know what’s hit us. And for some it gets worse, where they also face a decline in their physcial and mental capacity, possibly divorce, and of course depression.Dr Moynes warns people to “buckle up!” because it’s going to be a rough ride ahead.Whilst this will hit those who retire in a conventional manner the hardest (because in most cases retirement is “imposed” on you through the passage of time), it can also hit those who have achieved early financial freedom just as badly. The idea that they can now “live where they want and maybe work when they want” means a loss of routine and purpose can often lead them to unhappiness, especially given the long road that they have ahead.I have to admit to having faced low periods, and ironically having no worries has brought with it anxiety and fear of the future – a strange paradox indeed.When you start saying to yourself “I can’t spend the next 30 years feeling like this” you are heading into phase 3… - Trial and Error
Now you start looking for something meaningful to do, to contribute something.The easiest way to do this and enjoy it is to do things that you love to do, or things that you do well. But this does not necessarily mean the road is less bumpy. You are likely to face challenges and disappointments along the way when the ideas you had to “give back” end up giving you as much hassle and stress as you had when you were working.This is where the trial and error come in. It may take time for you to find what is meaningful to you.You are likely to face failures as well as success, but like many things in life you need to keep persistent and determined (a life of retirement is not necessarily an easy ride!). Keep trying, keep experimenting, you will find it. - Reinvent and Rewire
When you reach this point, when you have answered the difficult question around your purpose in life, your mission, and you really start to do something meaningful, then you are into the last phase of the journey.Dr Moynes states that your purpose, your mission, is likely “to involve providing service to others”. I can believe this. My mentors in the world of digital marketing – those that have made their millions, now spend their time supporting those who are keen to learn and gain the same skills as them. And it isn’t about the money anymore. It is about providing a meaningful contribution to help the success of others. Doing something that they love and they are passionate about.The great news about this phase is that all those losses that we suffered are all recovered.
So what does all this mean??
There is no solution on offer here, everyone needs to find their own way.
I’m just providing you with some awareness of your journey ahead.
So:
– enjoy the vacation
– be prepared for unexpected loss and confusion
– experiment with new ideas, keep on trying
– and when you find that special purpose and mission, go for it!
DR RILEY MOYNES VIDEO – TEDx SURREY