I have noticed things changing at work. When I got to my mid-50s, I became more aware of how “older” colleagues were being treated – because I was now one of them myself.
With so much focus on sexism and racism, the much more subtle issue of ageism (both young and old) seems to go under the radar. Those in their sixties, with the most knowledge and experience, are often subconsciously marginalised or ignored, or the brunt of little sniping jokes about how they don’t understand the technology or social media of today. You can see it undermining confidence, status, and security within “the herd”. I know this because this is what I feel myself.
For me the thing that really struck home was the occasional well-meaning and innocent question “when are you thinking about retiring?”. Personally, I have no intention of retiring, at least not in the traditional sense. I want to learn more and achieve more in many different ways. But it still sent a message that you didn’t really want to hear, that suddenly stops you in your tracks.
And it is getting worse. The Covid-19 pandemic seems to have exacerbated the problem, with age related unemployment on the increase or older employees feeling side-lined or excluded from discussions at work.
It is the same at the other end of the career spectrum. Young workers are often marginalised or sidelined for having perceived lack of experience. And they too can be on the receiving end of jokes, snide comments, put downs, which also hits their confidence. Whilst institutionalised racism and sexism are important issues that need to be resolved now, I believe the poor relation of ageism needs to have its own voice too. Sadly, I can’t see it getting one that enough people will listen to.
A few weeks ago I went to a comedy club in central London. A great evening, with great acts and the usual jokes that were way over the top way and covering racist and sexist themes of course, and a celebrity comedian who was there trying out new content to test the waters before letting it loose on the general public. So I had a great time apart from one thing – the audience was mostly 20 somethings. Nobody said anything or did anything, you just felt that you were in the wrong place, felt like I shouldn’t be there, that you didn’t belong. People like me shouldn’t be doing things like that.
I didn’t like how I felt. An a tiny bit of my confidence was eroded away.
I know for the young, it is also hard – they face the same challenges and setbacks as me. But in many ways, that is OK. It is part of life, part of growing up, and over time their confidence grows as they get older, as they start to become more and more accepted by “the herd” in general. But it isn’t as easy at the other end, because you are slowly leaving the herd rather than joining it.
For those expecting a magic answer in my conclusion, I don’t have one. I suspect that institutionalised ageism is here to stay. But I will prepare myself for it. I will arm myself with new (yes new!) skills that will put me in a strong place in the future, whether this be from the digital world or using more traditional knowledge and skills bases. And I will embrace my role as a teacher and mentor of those that follow behind, because they can learn from me, and I can be there for them when they make all the same mistakes I made along the way.
I look forward to my future with new-found enthusiasm.